too much thought
11 September 2001 - 5:43 p.m.

I cannot stop it. I am thinking too much again. I am making up scenario after scenario of what might happen in a few days, of what might happen in the coming week. It's becoming unhealthy.

I am thinking too much of things to come that I cannot focus on the work at hand. There are still a few things I have to do. I cannot focus. It scares me. This is a certain sense of apprehension that I haven't experienced in a while. I'm not really nervous, at least I don't think I am. I'm not really excited, if I was I would probably be already bouncing off the walls.

I'm trying to do too many things at once. Suddenly I have this need to tie off loose ends. I have this need to collect all the little bits and pieces of my life that I willingly scattered along the way.

I have a week to get myself together. Somehow I just want it all to be over.

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